Tuesday, March 29, 2016

well, i guess this is growing up.

I'm turning thirty in four days and I'm actually kind of excited about it. I have had so many birthdays where I just haven't felt like celebrating. There were a good number of years where life to me was more about surviving than thriving. I lost a lot of loved ones and just had a lot of life stress on top of grieving. I survived, though.

I've always tried to take a positive attitude when life is tough, but sometimes it is really hard. When things start to pile up on each other and it feels like nothing is going your way, it really tests you. It has brought me a certain anxiety that I deal with now when things are going well that fears when everything is going to go to hell again. As time passes though, the anxiety lessens. I'm sure the meds help too, though.

This past year has been nothing short of amazing though. There's a clarity that comes with each passing year that you gain more life experience. It's hard to explain. It's like the wisdom of time allows you to really prioritize what is important to you and what you allow to bother you. My struggles made me stronger, they built me brick by brick into the person that I am today. I own my past--and not the other way around. Don't get me wrong, there are certain battles (my anxiety, for one) that I'm still fighting, but rather than ignoring them like I used to--I fight them head on, each and every day.

I have a lot to smile about these days, though. When I get overwhelmed or I'm having a tough day, I consciously remind myself of that. My husband motivates me to be the best version of myself and that's something that I'm going to work on in my thirtieth year. I finally feel like I'm standing on stable ground and I'm ready to build a life on that ground.

If you're going through a rough time and need some encouragement, I hope this serves as some sort of proof that it does get better. It will get better. Keep your head high and continue to make the effort to be grateful for everything that you do have. Gratitude will save you.

As for me, I'm going to attempt to make every day from here on out a celebration of the fact that I'm alive and surrounded by so many amazing people. Just like the rent is too damn high guy advocated for lower rent, I'm going to advocate for the world to be a kinder, happier place...because life is too damn short.



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